The Top Nine Fattest Coaches in Professional Sports

by davidbreitman   August 04, 2010 at 10:00AM  |  Views: 1,728


4. Lou Piniella

Photo: AFP/Getty Images

“Fat Lou,” as he is affectionately called by people who don’t find his failed attempts to help the Chicago Cubs win a World Series adorable, suffers from the same affliction as Barry Trotz. Without any truly obese coaches combing the MLB sidelines, Piniella has reluctantly become the fat kid at the coach’s summit by default.

It’s sort of like summer camp. There has to be a fat kid that gets picked on – regardless of actual obesity levels – and in the MLB, the portly pickee just so happens to be a guy who owns a Minor League Baseball team called “The Montgomery Biscuits.”

3. Mike McCarthy

Photo: Ezra Shaw/Getty Images Sport/Getty Images

According to anecdotal (and in no way statistically verified) accounts around the Spike.com offices, there are a lot of fat people in Wisconsin. So, while it may seem like Mike McCarthy celebrated running Brett Favre out of town with a three-year Krispy Kreme binge, it’s also entirely possible that he’s simply trying to fit in with the Lambeau Field faithful by insulating himself properly for the winter.



2. Andy Reid



Some coaches start their careers after successful jaunts as professional athletes. Others, begin their path to the sidelines from the broadcast booth as play-by-play announcers. Andy Reid, however, made his foray into sports as a hot dog vendor at Dodgers Stadium during his teenage years that were likely spent hoarding cafeteria gravy and being forced to wear t-shirts while swimming in public pools.

The portly Philadelphia Eagles bench boss lists his physical stats as “unknown,” but with the weight of an entire city’s delusional Super Bowl hopes on his doughy shoulders, it’s conceivable to think that a traditional scale may not be able to render a proper BMI reading.

On an ironic side note, Reid met his wife during a physical education class at BYU.

1. Rex Ryan

Photo: Jim McIsaac/Getty Images Sport/Getty Images

Earlier this year, Rex Ryan entered a weight loss competition with two of the most horizontally challenged members on the New York Jets roster. In order to help win the bet, Ryan elected to have lap band surgery – a medical procedure which is used to help “fight obesity through instant weight loss” – instead of a long-term commitment to fitness and healthy eating.

Shockingly, this strategy (which some may call cheating) didn’t work, and Ryan lost the wager. He now remains the fattest kid at training camp and 27 pounds away from being able to see his feet.

 

 

Recent Features

The Top 10 Most Lucrative Careers for Morons

The Eight Music Videos That Totally Missed the Point

The Top 10 Items You Won't Believe They Counterfeited

The Top 10 Celebrities Who Have Done Hard Time

The Top Seven Most Anticipated Movies at Comic-Con 2010

 

 

 

THE DAILY FOUR

SPIKE on facebook