The Top Nine Fattest Coaches in Professional Sports
4. Lou Piniella
Photo: AFP/Getty Images
“Fat Lou,” as he is affectionately called by people who don’t find his failed attempts to help the Chicago Cubs win a World Series adorable, suffers from the same affliction as Barry Trotz. Without any truly obese coaches combing the MLB sidelines, Piniella has reluctantly become the fat kid at the coach’s summit by default.
It’s sort of like summer camp. There has to be a fat kid that gets picked on – regardless of actual obesity levels – and in the MLB, the portly pickee just so happens to be a guy who owns a Minor League Baseball team called “The Montgomery Biscuits.”
3. Mike McCarthy
Photo: Ezra Shaw/Getty Images Sport/Getty Images
According to anecdotal (and in no way statistically verified) accounts around the Spike.com offices, there are a lot of fat people in Wisconsin. So, while it may seem like Mike McCarthy celebrated running Brett Favre out of town with a three-year Krispy Kreme binge, it’s also entirely possible that he’s simply trying to fit in with the Lambeau Field faithful by insulating himself properly for the winter.
2. Andy Reid
Some coaches start their careers after successful jaunts as professional athletes. Others, begin their path to the sidelines from the broadcast booth as play-by-play announcers. Andy Reid, however, made his foray into sports as a hot dog vendor at Dodgers Stadium during his teenage years that were likely spent hoarding cafeteria gravy and being forced to wear t-shirts while swimming in public pools.
The portly Philadelphia Eagles bench boss lists his physical stats as “unknown,” but with the weight of an entire city’s delusional Super Bowl hopes on his doughy shoulders, it’s conceivable to think that a traditional scale may not be able to render a proper BMI reading.
On an ironic side note, Reid met his wife during a physical education class at BYU.
1. Rex Ryan
Photo: Jim McIsaac/Getty Images Sport/Getty Images
Earlier this year, Rex Ryan entered a weight loss competition with two of the most horizontally challenged members on the New York Jets roster. In order to help win the bet, Ryan elected to have lap band surgery – a medical procedure which is used to help “fight obesity through instant weight loss” – instead of a long-term commitment to fitness and healthy eating.
Shockingly, this strategy (which some may call cheating) didn’t work, and Ryan lost the wager. He now remains the fattest kid at training camp and 27 pounds away from being able to see his feet.