Jail: Big Texas
The Fast and The Furious: Tokyo Drift (2006): Fast and the Furious, The: Tokyo Drift (2006)
The Fast and the Furious (2001): Fast and the Furious, The (2001)
2 Fast 2 Furious (2003)
The Fast and The Furious: Tokyo Drift (2006): Fast and the Furious, The: Tokyo Drift (2006)
Fast Five (2011)

The Top 7 Rock Stars That Need an Ass-Kicking

by dsussman   November 09, 2008 at 1:00PM  |  Views: 1,909

3. Noel and Liam Gallagher


It’s pretty well known that Liam was a troublemaker at the start of Oasis’ popularity in the mid ‘90s, and there have been numerous incidents with Liam cracking paparazzis in their faces while spitting his weird English slurs into hungry TV cameras. Liam is also known for some of his classy anti-American quotes, such as "Americans want grungy people, stabbing themselves in the head on stage. They get a bright bunch like us, with deodorant on, they don't get it."

No, Liam, we hate you cause your band is unbelievably overrated and you’ve been putting out the same exact f***ing songs since 1995. 

Even though Liam has grown out of his child-like pop star antics in the last few years, it seems his brother Noel has been perfectly willing to keep the Gallagher ass clown train running. I always thought Noel was the classy one of the group, but after his harsh words against Jay-Z and Radiohead this past year I’ve decided to write this dude off completely.

These hacks are 5-foot-nothin' and they would easily get knocked out by one of my grandfather’s after dinner farts.

 2. Ted Nugent


The Nuge. Another classic case of a rock star thinking their moral values and understanding of this world is the be-all and end-all. What makes this guy think he has the right to force his border control policies on the masses via a Fox News telecast? This guy wrote freakin’ “Cat Scratch Fever.” It’s not like he’s in Africa curing AIDS patients.

I will commend the guy for hunting and killing his own food, but it’s so obvious that he gets off on shooting defenseless animals just for sh*ts and giggles. I would give anything to stalk this guy Hard Target-style in the middle of East LA. I wonder how long it would take for me to take down the The Motor City Madman? He eats far too much homemade meat to outrun my skinny ass.

1. Gene Simmons


"Downloaders Should Be Sued Off The Face Of The Earth"

If there is anybody on this list that needs to be knocked out right now, it’s Gene. How can so many egotistical one-liners come out of one human being? The guy is intelligent, but his relentless greed and lack of bass playing talent are definitely basis for a drunken’ stepfather-like beat down.

Some people may think that Gene is a very smart man who is just speaking his mind and telling it like it is, but I beg to differ. Not only is Gene one of the worst bass players of all time, he would put a Kiss logo on a dead corpse and sell it to an 8-year-old just to make a buck. I’ve heard all of this man’s stupid philosophies on the “rock business” and I think he needs to realize that not everybody in a band just cares about making money off of their musical “brand.” Gene should be blowing Ace Frehley everyday of his life because he was the only reason why Kiss was able to put together good rock songs and hit the big time. Period.

Ending this man with some fists of fury to the face would definitely make this world a happier place.