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The Top 7 Rock Stars That Need an Ass-Kicking

by dsussman   November 09, 2008 at 1:00PM  |  Views: 1,909

One of the worst things that can happen to a musician is when they start to take themselves a little too seriously. They get trapped in their own little world and begin to think they are as amazing as their brainwashed fans think they are. Where do these idiots get off? These are just some people who could use a good butt-whoopin’ to help clear their heads.

7. Fred Durst


How hasn’t this guy been beaten to a bloody pulp?

Back in the early ‘90s, it felt like Fred Durst was loved by the ladies but hated by every man on the face of the planet. He took the heavy metal genre and completely perverted it. How did he get away with this unscathed? Every time I hear him spit whiteboy raps over cheesy rock chords, I want to give him a fat knee to the face.

The first time I saw the video for “Behind Blue Eyes” I was so enraged that I punched my television set and split my hand wide open. How could Pete Townshend let this douchebag taint a Who landmark? He even got to make out with Halle Berry. Halle Berry! I think I’m going to be sick.

6. Deryck Whibley


What a jackass. How can you be in one of the worst bands ever and marry one of the most annoying pop stars all in the same life?

I love it how Sum 41 started off as cotton candy MTV lozenge for rich schoolgirls and then ended up trying to put out more intelligent songs about serious political issues. In a lot of these songs Whibley attempts to criticize President Bush and his polices. I don’t have too much of a problem with this, but the songs completely suck and I refuse to listen to political rantings from a Canadian. This guy is just mad cause there is nothing to complain about in Canada.

Deryck wants to be a real rock star so bad it’s probably destroying him from the inside out. I hope this bozo chokes on Avril Lavigne’s teeth.

5. Axl Rose


Axl pre-superstardom didn’t seem like that bad of a guy. He had a great voice, killed it on the live stage and didn’t have much of an attitude. All this changed when he grew the world’s biggest rock ego and decided to swim with dolphins in his epic Use Your Illusion music videos.

Throughout Guns N' Roses' career, Axl was notorious for personally addressing disruptive fans and instructing security guards to throw them out by force. On a few occasions he even took matters into his own hands by jumping into the crowd to deal with these so-called nuisances personally. He even started a riot on August 8, 1992 in Montreal by walking off stage after playing only nine songs, claiming he was having voice problems. What a class act.

I’m not saying I could take Axl in his prime, but I would consider paying a nice sum to have his kneecaps busted.
4. Madonna


I understand Madonna is not a real rock star, but lately she’s really been trying to live the part. When she started playing the guitar at her live shows and hanging from a cross Marilyn Manson-style, Madonna became more of a joke than anyone could have ever imagined.

First off, the material girl used to be a badass unpredictable pop star that had Middle American moms shaking in their pastel boots. Who could have known that she would transform into to a selfish, self-obsessed imbecile who insisted on pushing Kabbalah on her loyal followers? Who in the hell does this women think she is? Stick to shilling for Mitsubishi, honey.