Mediocre Soccer Player Scores Marriage with Playboy Model Over Facebook

June 25, 2010

Seven weeks ago, Chicago Fire defenseman and largely irrelevant soccer personality Krzystif Krol began Facebook-stalking a Playboy model he presumably pleasured himself to via the inter-web. Earlier this week, the two were married in a quiet City Hall ceremony. How did he pull it off (and spend less than $80 on the wedding)? The creepy, yet awesome story after the jump.

In an uplifting Chicago Tribune piece published earlier this week, Krol told his dozens of fans that predatorily awkward Internet lurking can be a shockingly well-received courtship technique.

According to the story, Krol visited Patrycja Mikula’s public Facebook page in May of 2010, which inexplicably listed her cell phone number under the contact info tab.

Naturally, the 23-year-old Polish soccer “star” called the number to see if she was accepting romantic inquiries from gentlemen who use social media sites for spank bank material.

"I call and hear 'Hello' and think 'What do I say now?'" Krol told the Tribune.

Obviously the whole “hello” thing worked, because the two went on several dates and eventually fell in love. Sort of like Romeo and Juliet, but with a hotter female lead and more soccer.

Within a few weeks Krol realized that his Polish good looks and MLS salary may not last forever, so he capitalized on the opportunity (like a more talented soccer player would do on the field) and put a ring on her finger.

The two tattooed each other’s names on their arms (always a good idea) and walked down the aisle shortly after.

Whoever said romance is dead clearly doesn't know many Polish soccer players.