Is your pit bull just a little too much of a sissy? Does he kind of look like a namby-pamby pit bull that was totally into He’s Just Not That Into You, and enjoyed the book even more? Well, worry no more, friend.
All you’ve got to do is get him some plate armor! Then he’ll be the talk of the (doggie) town and will also be invulnerable to short range blade attacks. Don’t have a pit bull? That’s okay because Pit Bull Armory can make armor for horses, squirrels, and humans, too.
The dog armor will set you back about $100, and works for pups around 65 pounds.
The human armor works for virgins.
Source: Pit Bull Armory