The Top Nine Manliest Flowers
Women love flowers. Birthdays, anniversaries, and Valentine’s Day are all about petals, blossoms, and blooms. This overload of flowers is, well, enough to turn any man into a pansy. So where are the flowers of the manly variety?
Photo: UpperCut Images/Getty Images
9. Snap Dragon (Antirrhinum)
Photo: Suzanne Opton/Riser/Getty Images
The snapdragon is a flower adored by women. That said, one must not forget that this flower resembles a dragon and no matter what anyone says, dragons in any form are badass. You could have a dragon made from cotton candy, sprinkled with fairy dust, and pieced together with Liberace’s glitter jacket and it would still be masculine.
The other cool thing about the snapdragon is you can play with it. If you squeeze laterally on the flower the dragon’s mouth will open and close. That’s where the "snap" part of the name comes from. It’s like nature invented a toy.
8. Hops (Humulus lupulus)
Photo: DEA / E. Bertaggia/Getty Images
Yep, man’s favorite drink is made with a flower. Hops, the female flower clusters of the Humulus lupulus plant, are a key ingredient in the brewing of beer. By default this makes hops an incredibly dude-like flower (even if it’s actually female). Besides, it’s not like we’d admit to drinking flower water.
Hops are used in beer as a flavoring and stability agent. They originated in Germany and have been used in the production of beer for nearly a thousand years. Hops help mellow out the sweetness of the malt by adding a bitter, tangy flavor. They also aid the activity of brewer’s yeast and help preserve beer. That's something all men can drink to.
7. Cactus (Echinopsis oxygona)
Photo: Harald Süpfle/Wikipedia
Cactii in general are masculine plants. They are tall, prickly on the outside, somewhat unapproachable, sturdy, and tough. The flower of the Echinopsis oxygona, a cactus native to Argentina, is the one-night stand of flowers. The flower’s presence is fleeting. Its faintly sweet-smelling flower opens at the end of a long tube connected to the cactus, standing erect and ready. The flower opens in the evening, hoping for pollination, but by sunrise it's dead. Like a one-night stand it’s beautiful while it lasts but you’re unlikely ever to see it again.
6. Belladonna (Atropa belladonna)
Photo: Hulton Archive/Getty Images
The Belladonna flower, also known as Deadly Nightshade, is one of the most toxic plants in the world. It’s hard to imagine that such a thing of beauty could be so dangerous. Just consuming a leaf or two of this plant can have deadly consequences.
This flower has a history of being used a deadly weapon. Folklore has it that this plant was used by early humans to make poisonous arrows. It is also said to have been used by Macbeth “to poison of the troops of the invading Harold Harefoot, King of England.”
This is the type of flower you might give a mortal enemy, such as an unbearable mother-in-law.
5. Tree Tobacco (Nicotiana glauca)
Shaped like a cigar, this is the type of flower Arnold Schwarzenegger could get behind. I suspect the Governator would like it for two reasons. The main reason being that this flower is potentially a form of energy and could make flower power a reality. The plant, which grows well in semi-arid areas, is being investigated for the production of bio-ethanol. Soon the deserts could become the oil wells of the future. It also means Arnie could power his biodiesel Hummer.
The other reason Arnie would find Tree Tobacco manly is because he could smoke it like a cigar (while driving in his Hummer). For centuries the native South American plant has been smoked and used for medicinal purposes by Native American groups. There is, however, a drawback. The plant is said to be highly poisonous and is known to be responsible for a number of deaths. So think before you light up. This flower is clearly not fit for girly-men.