The Top 10 Worst Fictional Movie Musicians
Over the years, there have been a lot of fictional movie bands that have given us memorable performances as well as providing audiences with some serious artistry. Soggy Bottom Boys, anyone? On the flipside, though, there have been a handful of fake musical acts that stand out for all the wrong reasons.
Source: Nelson Entertainment/Orion Pictures
Source: Working Title Films/PolyGram Filmed
The fictional German techno-pop group in The Big Lebowski, Autobahn, is a parody of the legendary band Kraftwerk. The only difference is that Autobahn sucks balls and Kraftwerk does not. It's true that we really don’t get a legitimate listen of Autobahn in the movie, but based on their bonehead actions against The Dude, I have no choice but to assume that the Coen Bros purposefully tried to make them out to be one of the worst fictional bands of all time.
Now the song "Technopop (Wie Glauben)" on the Lebowski Soundtrack is totally supposed to be Autobahn’s music but it’s just as over the top as its fictional members. It was put together by the extremely talented composer Carter Burwell and was obviously created with the intention of being ridiculous. I just thought a band with Flea would have been a little bit better. Although, I have been saying that about the Red Hot Chili Peppers for years…
9. The Good Ole Boys
Source: Universal Pictures
Seeing The Good Ole Boys from The Blue Brothers on this list may be a little confusing for most of you, but hear me out first.
Due to Elwood and Jake snaking their spot at Bob's Country Bunker, we never get the chance to hear The Good Ole Boys perform. I put The Good Ole Boys on this list based purely on the fact that they are total a-holes throughout the entire film and there’s no chance in hell that they’re any good. Look, Elwood and Jake were on a mission from God and we have to assume that anyone trying to stop them from carrying out their mission has to be an evil demon doing Satan’s work. Now that may sound a little cool, but it is in no possible way cooler than The Blues Brothers.
8. Spinal Tap Mark II
Photo: Ebet Roberts/Getty Images
After Nigel leaves the band in the legendary film This Is Spinal Tap, we get to witness the birth of Spinal Tap Mark II. As sweet as this band could've been, their free-form jazz exploration was pretty horrible and should have never happened in the first place. Why in the hell did David St. Hubbins’ girlfriend try to break up one of the greatest metal bands of all time!? It was only for a brief moment, but Spinal Tap Mark II might've produced some of the worst audio sounds cinema has ever heard.
7. Randy Watson & Sexual Chocolate
Source: Paramount Pictures
It truly pains me to put Randy Watson (a.k.a. Joe the Policeman from the “What’s Goin' Down” episode of That's My Mama) on this list, but I had no choice, y’all.
With his performance of “Greatest Love of All” in Coming to America, it was quite clear right from the get-go that Mr. Watson had charisma by the truckload, but didn’t have the vocal chops to truly move a crowd. Eddie Murphy’s take on a washed up soul/karaoke singer almost single-handedly stole the show in CTA, but he was also forced to make ears cringe with a gang of crappy vocal notes just to get the point across. Sexual! Chocolate!
6. Rex Manning
Source: Regency Enterprises/Warner Bros.
Anyone out there that’s sat through Empire Records will never forget the name Rex Manning. Why? Because Rex is easily one of the biggest douchebags in the history of movies. Manning is everything we hate about bad pop music. The guy is a pompous, fading pop singer/former TV star who thinks he’s God’s gift to the world because naïve women everywhere get caught up in his cheesball hype. His smash hit “Say No More Mon Amour” is so horrible that it infects every ear it touches, just like the same music it’s successfully mocking.
I will admit that it was pretty awesome when he dropped his pants when Corey (Liv Tyler) brought him his lunch, but the poor girl just wanted some romantic lovin’! Dude is such a tool. Just go ahead and fade away, Rexy.