Bull Semen Closes a Tennessee Interstate. No, really.

August 24, 2011

There are a lot of things you can ship via Greyhound. Luggage, people, valuable items. Apparently, even the, uh, vital fluids of bulls can be packed in liquid nitrogen and shipped across the country on Greyhound.

How do we know this? Because a bunch of bull semen fell out of a Greyhound bus near Nashville Tuesday and closed down the Interstate, as the bus driver just whipped away, oblivious. Apparently hazmat teams were called in amid reports of a foul, foul stench.

Seriously, this actually happened. It turns out that the bull semen, coming from Columbus, Ohio, has to be shipped by ground only, since the liquid nitrogen is extremely dangerous if it spills. According to Greyhound, they ship highly dangerous and disgusting things all the time, in addition to moving people too cheap or too broke to pay for plane ticket. But don't worry! They don't keep it with the luggage! That'd be gross.

As for the stench, well, honestly, we don't want to know. Seriously, don't tell us. Once it was determined that it was safe, if pretty disgusting, the canisters were moved to the side of the road. Greyhound, meanwhile, has to figure out how it's going to reimburse the semen shipper: apparently the lost bull baby batter load cost nearly $80,000. Just do us a favor, Greyhound, and send us the insurance form. We want to see how you filled it out.

Photo: Martin Ruegner/The Image Bank/Getty Images