Notre Dame Fan Shows Support By Assaulting the Team's Quarterback

November 24, 2009

It’s unclear whether or not Jesus stopped watching football or just hates fat people, but over the weekend America’s premiere religious institution and their portly bench boss seemed to have lost what’s left of their dwindling fan base.

According to various sources, Irish quarterback Jimmy Clausen was sucker punched in the eye at around 2:30 a.m. in South Bend, Indiana after celebrating a devastating loss that will cost his coach, Charlie Weis, a job.

Apparently Clausen had “at least” one black eye and may be knocked out of the team’s final game against Stanford. (There is, however, no word yet if the savage assault has encouraged him to forgo the NFL Draft in order to return to Notre Dame for his senior season in order to give the fans a shot at a slightly less embarrassing season.)

This is why Notre Dame can’t have nice things!

Source: Al Messerschmidt/Getty Images Sport/Getty Images