Oakland Raiders Adamantly Claim New Faith in JaMarcus Russell Isn't an Elaborate Joke

March 17, 2010

After an NFL career that has been described as both a “trainwreck” and “utter embarrassment” by his family, the savvy folks in the Oakland Raiders front office are now claiming that JaMarcus Russell has looked great over the offseason and expect vast improvements in the upcoming year (seriously).

"You'll be surprised when you see him," Raiders Director of Squad Development Willie Brown told ESPN.com while presumably drunk. “It's quite a bit of weight that he's lost. ... It will be a significant difference when you see him compared to last year. The most important thing is he's getting in shape. Not only losing weight but getting in shape.”

While the weight loss (and Brown’s ability to keep a straight face while talking about Russell’s upside) is certainly impressive, it’s unclear how staying out of a Burger King is going to help him break the very difficult “four touchdowns in a single season” benchmark he missed last year.

Don’t worry, though, Raiders fans. When Russell is chasing down defensive backs after interceptions, his newly-found agility may help him prevent "pick six" touchdowns. Baby steps...

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