Poor Sarah Palin. It's not easy being beautiful. People have been dragging nets through the sea of her past, reaping the scuttling crabs from the ocean of her mystique. She must feel barren. Some have even fabricated her past making her seem, how best to say it...even more awesome/awful than she is (depending on which side of the aisle you pitch your tent). Well, we did a little digging of our own...
1. A young Sarah as a government employee.
2. Taking the stage name Tonie Perensky, she stars in Varsity Blues as a stripper cum teacher.
3. Immured in the Hollywood lifestyle, Palin treads on the wild side with Hollywood Hulk Hogan
4. Sarah realizes it's time to settle down and bears 19 children (helping other mothers with theirs along the way).
5. Realizing to affect change she must take action in the political realm, she starts along the road to the White House.
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