P'wned in the P'ctagon: 5 Celebs We'd Like to See Demolished

November 14, 2008

Here are 5 celebs we think would be good punching bags in the cage. You know, to keep in shape between actual fights.


5. Dana Carvey


With his contortionist comedy, this impressionista kept us laughing through the '80s and early '90s (Way!). But this guy clearly ran out of gas. Being the other guy named Dana just doesn't cut it in the 21st century and, like the Highlander, there can only be one.

4. Amy Winehouse


I know. It's obvious. She's a girl. And she can't stand up. But never in the history of unwarranted celebrity has someone more deserved to get the absolute sh*t kicked out of her and told to wake the f*ck up.

3. Andy Dick


Splitting his time between being super annoying and super drunk, he is one of those guys that when you were in high school, you rooted for the bully -- unapologetically.


2. Dane Cook


Fail. What a jerk-off. Aim for the face, so that when he wakes up from his pummeling, his "Hollywood good looks" will be gone. At least that way something involving him will finally be funny.

1. Carrot Top


This was a tough one, but with Gallagher's refusal to leave his giant mallet at home, Carrot Top became the obvious choice from "Team Prop-Comic" to enter to Octagon for combat--and he's a local in Vegas. These guys deserve to have their asses kicked. Besides, his recent bodybuilding and muscular appearance will at least trick some audience members into thinking he actually could stand a chance and, while small, create some sort of market.

Honorable Mention: Matt Lauer. Needs no explanation.