The Peanut Butter Kid's Brilliant Plan

January 25, 2010

Anybody can buy a jersey, wear a hat, or get a “Southwest Iowa State Intramural Championship” face tattoo, but it takes a real fan to smear his entire body with chunky peanut butter and run around the building like a meth-addicted lunatic. That takes a level of inane dedication that even soccer hooligans and the cast of The Golden Girls would be proud of.

At the Georgia-Tennessee basketball game this weekend, one Bulldog fan came up with a plan that, at first, seemed ridiculous, but eventually was celebrated as pure genius (sort of).

For four quarters this future leader of America sat in the student section with peanut butter all over his body (an old camping trick to attract fat girls and bears). People questioned his intelligence and whether or not it really covered his “everywhere.”

The joke, however, would be on his doubters.

As the game ended with Georgia upsetting their highly ranked rivals, thousands of students tried to rush the floor, only to be met by overly aggressive security guards looking for a chance to knock out cocky college kids. It's really the only perk of the job.

But guess who got to run around the court untouched? Yep, the guy with lunch spread dripping all over his entire body. Security wasn’t going to go near him.