The Top 10 Ways to Geek Out Your Wedding
Planning a wedding may be a lot of work and cause a lot of anxiety, but if you take the time, you can have a day you and your future spouse will remember and cherish for years. There's no better way to show the person you're going to spend the rest of your life with how much they mean to you than by giving them a perfect wedding. Or, if you're a geek, you can totally f*** it up by making everyone dress like Japanese cartoon characters.
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The Proposal
1. Get a Stupid Ring
Source: Etsy.com
For centuries, human beings have used rings to symbolize the holy bond of matrimony and, for about 10 years, they've used ethernet cables to get their porn faster. Now, thanks to the folks at Etsy.com, you can show your betrothed that she's just as important to you as your favorite spank site.
For a mere $700, these CAT5-compliant beauties are a must-have for geeks in love. What better way to tell a girl that she's downloaded her way into your heart? She'll know your firewall's down the minute she opens the box. And unlike normal wedding rings, these totally fit together, you know, like the two of you. Even if the worst happens and she says no, you can always plug your version into your computer, because it will love you way better than any girl could anyway.
2. Propose in a Video Game
Source: Mia Song/The Star-Ledger
Imagine you’re a computer programmer who’s mustered up the courage to talk to a girl. We know. That’s why we said “imagine.” Now, imagine that this girl is everything you dream of. She’s cute, funny, smart, and likes all the same Transformers you do. You decide that you want to spend your life with her and raise a flock of nerdbabies. There’s just one problem. She’s obsessed with the video game Bejeweled.
How do you get her attention and let her know she holds the high score in your heart? Hack that s***! That’s what Bernie Peng did. When this New Jersey programmer found his girl, he hacked his proposal into her favorite jewel-based video game. When she reached a particular score, a pink sapphire ring appeared on the screen with his proposal. Lucky for him she wasn’t into Call Of Duty. A ring popping out of a Nazi you’ve just ventilated with and submachine gun just doesn’t have the same charm.
It may have been a nerdy way to propose, but everything worked out. Peng’s girlfriend, Tammy Li, was tickled and Popcap, the makers of Bejeweled, were so impressed that they offered to chip in for the wedding. It just goes to show that a nerd can find love, too. And all he has to do is implement a little illegal programming and be willing to violate an end-user agreement.
3. Freak Out an Entire Town
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Proposing in a video game is all well and good for your private, retired geek, but what if you want to show the world that you’ve found your Alyson Hannigan? Well, an unidentified German nerd made sure his proposal was so big it freaked out an entire town and involved local law enforcement.
As part of his elaborate proposal, the geeky German suitor sent up 50 huge paper lanterns in the skies over the small Bavarian town of Plattling. His girlfriend was blown away by his grand romantic gesture and instantly said “yes.” All would have been right in the world except for one small thing. The guy forgot that other people lived in the town.
Scared and confused at the sudden appearance of 50 hovering orbs of light in the night sky, people freaked out. Police received several reports of UFO sightings as the town prepared for the End of Days. The police eventually traced the balloons back to the suitor and everyone calmed down. The guy was married, settled down, and is now fondly known around Plattling as “that prick who freaked out the entire town to get laid.”
