The Top 7 Ugliest Rock Frontmen

July 25, 2008


It’s obvious that most people are jealous of rock stars because they’re out having sex with hot groupies while the rest of us are just dreaming about it. It hurts even worse when they’re butt-ugly and unbearable to watch. Why should an average Joe be able to live the rock ‘n roll lifestyle while I’m stuck at home watching softcore porn in my basement? I’m getting pissed already.

Here’s our picks for the Top 7 Ugliest Rock Frontmen...

#7 Tom Petty


Is it possible that the guys over at Mattel used Tom Petty as their inspiration for creating Masters of the Universe’s Skeletor? I say “yes.”

The American singer, songwriter, and guitarist of the Heartbreakers is looking more like a zombie everyday. I won’t deny that Tom was a suave cat in his early days with the Heartbreakers, but papa started to let himself go once he hit it big. It seems Mr. Petty was looking up to his rock idols a little bit too much. Congratulations, Tom! You are officially uglier than Bob Dylan. Take a bow.

#6 Courtney Love


I know she’s a chick, but mama looks like a dude.

The Hole leading lady has to be one of the most unattractive rock stars on the planet. It also doesn’t help that she’s a psycho pill-popping bitch. And why does this woman always insist on taking her clothes off? Bad Courtney! No! I’m getting nauseous just typing about this wench. Here's Ms. Love looking extremely sexy at the VMAs...


#5 Chad Kroeger


We all know Chad is the lead singer and rhythm guitarist for the rock band Nickelback. We also know that Nickelback is the worst band on planet earth. The fact that this band has sold over 25 million records worldwide is beyond me. How can you be so untalented and so dorky-lookin’ at the same time? I refuse to believe that chicks find that haircut attractive.

I think Chad got picked on so much high school that he decided to take revenge by writing the most annoying songs in human history. Don’t take it out on us because you didn’t get laid in high school bud! Check out Chad gettting stoned in the face at a Portugal live show...

#4 Joey Ramone


I hate to talk smack on the late-great Ramones frontman, but Joey definitely didn’t have the handsome good looks of his rock ‘n roll idols. Even though Joey was punk, he had to be self-conscience about his appearance. The guy always had a long shock of black hair that almost completely obscured his face. This was definitely on purpose. I think more musicians need to adopt this trend BTW. I would respect Britney Spears so much more if I couldn’t see her fat face. I feel guilty now. RIP Joey.

#3 Joe Cocker


Mr. Cocker easily has the ugliest face while singing. I know he’s known for his gritty voice and spastic physical performances, but didn’t anybody ever tell this guy it’s kind of unbearable to watch him sing? The first time I watched his classic Woodstock performance I thought the dude was gonna have a grand maul seizure. You got the pipes Joey, but you might was to consider putting on one of those Phantom of the Opera masks the next time you perform. Here's Joe makin' his classic poop faces at Woodstock...

#2 Lemmy


I wouldn’t touch that mole with a ten foot pole.

I really do love Lemmy, but it's literally impossible to ignore the fact that the dude has the face of an English Bulldog. If it wasn’t for his groundbreaking Motorhead masterpieces I can almost guarantee he would have ended up in a freak show in a random traveling circus somewhere. If I woke up everyday and had to look at that face in the mirror I would defiantly drown my ugly sorrows in big bottle of Jack Daniels. Now I understand why the guy drinks so much. This face goes to prove metalheads hate handsome frontmen. Ace of Spades! Here's Lemmy doin' what he does best...

#1 Shane MacGowan


If you can’t see that Shane is the ugliest man rock you’ve got some serious eyeball problems.
Shane is an Irish musician and poet best known as the original singer and songwriter of The Pogues. MacGowan has, throughout his life, suffered from dental problems, caused by an imbalance of chemicals in his mouth. This guy has been drinking booze and smoking cigarettes for most of his life and it definitely shows. For heaven’s sake Shane, buy a tooth brush and rub it on your teeth! I guess this guy just wants to be remembered for his a mouthful of bloody stumps and kick-ass Celtic punks tunes. If you think Shane looks bad in this picture, check out this interview from a few years back…