Sleeping With Tiger Woods Can Actually be a Great Career Move

February 10, 2010

Don’t let common sense or The Bible fool you. Not only is adultery a fun way to kill 17 minutes behind the dumpster of a local Hooters, but it’s also a fast track to a high paying television hosting gig. Just ask Rachel Uchitel…

The girl who proudly wears the moniker of “Mistress Number One” like a badge of honor has been hired by EXTRA to tell the American public about international hot spots and celebrity happenings.

Apparently, Uchitel impressed the show’s producers so much during an interview with Mario Lopez (because it’s really hard to outshine A.C. Slater), that they offered her a job and valuable life lesson to little girls everywhere who aren’t quite sure if nailing a professional athlete while his wife’s at home is a good idea.

According to the New York Post, Uchitel will not talk about her affair with Tiger Woods, but may offer insight into other celebrity sex scandals.

Uchitel: This just in – breaking news has reports that Mary Kate Olsen has been sleeping with Weird Al Yankovich for months, despite the “Amish Paradise” star’s marriage.

Lopez: What kind of whore would sleep with a married man?

Rachel: I have no idea, Mario – but the two were seen canoodling at a Food 4 Less last week.

Lopez: What a dirty, dirty whore!

Uchitel: [Awkward pause]

Source: Chris Peterson/FilmMagic/Getty Images