LeBron James Spurns Cleveland Cavaliers, Refuses to Join my YMCA Intramural Basketball Team

July 9, 2010

In case you couldn’t find 73 spare minutes last night to watch a young man who looks like a Korean War veteran pretend to contemplate a difficult decision, allow Spike.com to condense the event into one clear - yet sarcastic - sentence: LeBron James has decided to become America’s highest paid sidekick since Al Gore, and play basketball for the Miami Heat. (Now, go enjoy the extra 72 minutes.)

After receiving meticulously constructed offers from the New York Knicks, New Jersey Nets, Chicago Bulls, and Cleveland Cavaliers, James elected to join Dwyane Wade in Miami because it gave him “the best chance to win a championship.”

(Really, LeBron? The Spike.com intramural basketball team is coming off an impressive championship appearance in the Santa Monica Recreational League Championship. We were one player away from a dynasty. You could have been a part of something here!)

Anyway, much like the Spike.com director of intramural basketball operations, Cleveland Cavaliers’ owner Dan Gilbert was not happy with James’ decision.

Here are some lunatic ramblings he expressed following the signing:

The self proclaimed former 'King' will be taking the 'curse' with him down south. And until he does right by Cleveland and Ohio, James will unfortunately own this dreaded spell and bad karma.


I PERSONALLY GUARANTEE THAT THE CLEVELAND CAVALIERS WILL WIN AN NBA CHAMPIONSHIP BEFORE THE SELF-TITLED FORMER ‘KING’ WINS ONE

Sounds like somebody doesn’t think Jamario Moon is ready to step up and become a franchise player for the Cavs.

Photo: Larry Busacca/Getty Images Sport/Getty Images

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