Your Brain Is Sexist, Thinks Scantily Clad Women Are Stupid

October 14, 2011

It never fails, somebody mostly famous for posing naked happens to mention they have a doctorate, or a professional certification, and people are shocked. That woman I saw doing things illegal in five states on the Internet is a nurse? How is that possible?

Because your brain is a sexist jerk, that's how. But it's equally sexist among men and women.

Scientists, who love nothing better than stuffing college students into MRI machines with sexy pictures apparently, stuffed a bunch of college students into an MRI machine with sexy pictures and scanned their brains. According to the study, we divide how we see people into two categories: the ability to plan and the ability to feel emotions. And, apparently, the more skin guys see, the more the brain decides "HERP DERP STUPID!"

The MRI found that the parts of the brain determining somebody's planning ability dropped like a rock while the parts figuring out how emotional the woman in the picture was skyrocketed. Oh, and also we wanted to protect those women.

Why, precisely, does this happen? Nobody's really sure, aside from the fact that the brain sucks. The study, by the way, found women do the exact same thing. So, basically, if we get naked in front of people, the brain's first instinct is to cuddle them while laughing at how stupid they are. That's...that's just great.

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