The international governing body of women’s basketball has expressed some mild concerns about a complete and total lack of interest in their sport. Fortunately, they’re prepared to sexually exploit their athletes to help remedy this problem. (Hey, it worked for men’s bowling.)
FIBA – the Fédération Internationale de Basketball – suggested that the masculine uniforms currently being used in competition don’t show off the players “athletic bodies” and make it difficult for confused teenage boys to fantasize about a six-foot-six grunting power forward.
"We're not talking about going to beach volleyball," FIBA secretary general Patrick Baumann said at the sport’s annual conference. "We're talking about keeping it comfortable, but making it more feminine. They are great athletes, but also beautiful athletes and there's no reason not to show it."
Have you ever looked at a WNBA roster? There are 13 reasons on every team demonstrating why this is a horrible idea.
(On a totally unrelated – yet highly hypocritical note – here’s an article I wrote last week about the sexiest WNBA players of all time.)
During the retreat, several other ideas were proposed in order to make the game slightly more bearable. "Some coaches have said we should lower the basket,” Baumann said.
Honestly, I like the direction this is going. If women’s basketball continues to follow this direction, in 15 years the WNBA will be filled with mildly athletic strippers wearing see-through tank tops as they jump on trampolines in order to dunk a basketball in a seven-foot hoop.
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