Jealous of the attention Tiger Woods has received over his loose definition of the terms “faithful” and “no sex in the champagne room,” media whore and interception enthusiast Brett Favre decided to get involved in what is quickly becoming the single most bizarre sex scandal since the alleged Berenstain Bear/Kim Kardashian sex tape.
According to Us Weekly’s crack team of Columbia graduates who get paid to follow celebrities around town (Look, Dad! Bradley Cooper is just like us – he also visits the free clinic after having condom-less sex with Eastern Vietnamese call girls), Elin Nordegren stayed in Favre’s Mississippi mansion this month while visiting her husband – Tiger Woods - at a local sex addiction clinic.
This new twist provides an intriguing denouement in this touching, romantic tale:
Boy meets girl
Boy asks another professional golfer to ask out girl for him
Boy marries girl
Boy cheats on girl with anyone who has two legs and text messaging capabilities
Boy enters sex rehab
Girl stays with NFL quarterback in order to visit boy
Boy and girl get back together?
The story broke when one local resident noticed that someone a little too attractive was roaming around town. “She definitely stands out,” a local shopkeeper told the magazine. “She was beautiful. She was walking around alone and trying to keep to herself.”
While most people are asking “does this mean Tiger and Elin are back together?” it seems that nobody is wondering “Why does Brett Favre live so close to a sexual rehabilitation clinic?”
Source: Harry How/Getty Images Sport/Getty Images