The Top 10 Women With More Ta-Tas Than Talent
5. Dolly Parton
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There is no denying that Dolly Parton is extremely talented. She is after all the reigning queen of country music and over the last five decades has become the most successful female recording artist in the history of country music. She has had a staggering 25 number one singles and a record 41 top 10 country albums. She’s also has a remarkable film career, her own theme park, and is an avid philanthropist.
But even with all her success, Dolly’s talents are literally overshadowed by her enormously large 40DD breasts. They are a marvel of nature (with a bit of help from silicone) and fast became her trademark. Dolly’s breasts are such a phenomenon that the world’s first cloned mammal Dolly the Sheep was named in her honor because the cell used to clone the sheep was taken from a ewe’s mammary gland. Honestly, there is not enough talent in the world to out-muscle or out-mammary Dolly’s rack. Even she would agree with that!
4. Heidi Montag
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Heidi Montag would garner more respect if she wasn’t a ditzy celebrity cliché. The blonde star of The Hills famously had breast implants in 2007, increasing her bust size from a 32A to a 32C. Sadly, she was unable to find a doctor with the ability to inject some talent into her.
While her boobs may have grown, Heidi has become more annoying, more outspoken, and way too over-exposed. The first thing she did after her boob job was sit down with Us Weekly magazine for an "exclusive" interview. Since then she’s tried her hand at a singing career and posed for Playboy magazine (amazingly without nudity). The only thing she and her douchey husband, The Hills co-star Spencer Pratt, have mastered is the fame game and unfortunately they play it very well.
3. Pamela Anderson
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Pamela Anderson is a walking set of air bags. The model and actress has had a very successful modeling and acting career. She has the most Playboy covers of any woman in the world and will surely go down in the pages of television history for her role as CJ Parker on Baywatch. Pamela may be talented, but it’s her breasts that clinched her success. Seriously, can you imagine CJ Parker as a flat-chested broad running down the beach in slow motion? No.
Pamela Anderson career didn’t even take off until she moved to Los Angeles and went under a plastic surgeon’s knife. Once she got her new assets installed, this woman never looked back. Getting breast implants was easily Pam’s most shrewd career move.
2. Kim Kardashian
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Kim Kardashian has followed the Paris Hilton Guide to Fame to a T, except Kim has a bigger bust (like that would be hard) and marginally less talent. Like Paris, she found fame through a sex tape, starred in a reality television show, and endorsed a lot of useless crap. What sets Kim Kardashian apart from Paris Hilton is Kim has a personality and isn’t afraid to show off her body.
Kim will pretty much pose in a bikini or show off her cleavage for any company that pays her. Her single talent is working her assets and she’s been working them all the way to the bank. This actually makes her a smart businesswoman. However, even the smartest business person would fail if they were trying to offload crappy assets. It should also be noted that the only thing worth more praise than her breasts is her butt.
1. Keeley Hazel
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All hail Keeley Hazell, the queen of large breasts. The British glamour model has made a career exhibiting her incredible, natural 32F sized breasts. The public’s (or more correctly Britain’s) appetite for her magnificent melons is so insatiable that not a week goes by without new topless photos being released. The amazing thing is that no matter how many times you’ve seen Keeley’s tah-tahs, they never get old.
As much as I’d like to say having large, natural breasts is a talent, it isn’t. Her breasts are little more than an arbitrary gift from nature, a great gift nonetheless and something we can all be very thankful for. But the cold hard truth is the only talent Keeley really needs is the ability to remove a bra and brave the cold. Seriously, this woman must spend half her life topless.