The Top 10 Women With More Ta-Tas Than Talent
Big breasts are a staple of the entertainment industry and will win out over talent every time. Whether they're real or fake, it seems the bigger the breasts a woman has, the less talent she'll need to have a career and a place in the spotlight.
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10. Jessica Simpson
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Jessica Simpson definitely has a set of lungs on her and can belt out quite a tune. Sadly, these days Ms. Simpson is better known for her MTV reality show Newlyweds (which was on years ago) and her subsequent shambolic love life. No one pays attention to Ms. Simpson’s music anymore. Her last couple albums have bombed, her acting career never took off, and her recent switch to country music was not well received.
But the one constant through this entire period have been her ample bosoms. Like her career, Jessica’s breasts have experienced their ups and downs – usually as a result of Jessica’s fluctuating weight. In fact it seems Jessica’s breasts have gotten larger as her talent and place in the spotlight has dwindled.
9. Shauna Sand
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By all accounts Shauna Sand had something going on, once. As a youngster she was a classically trained dancer who received a scholarship to attend the prestigious Ballet West dance school. She started modeling at age 15 and settled in Paris where she earned a Bachelor of Arts Degree in International Business Administration from The American University of Paris and became fluent in French. Then she posed for Playboy in May 1996 and quickly turned into a clichéd, trashy hot mess.
Shauna has had her breasts pumped up through multiple, and sometimes botched, plastic surgeries. She has had so much work done that her bust now resembles two over-inflated balloons stuck to a stick. The 38-year-old ex-wife of Lorenzo Lamas and mother of three spends her days traipsing around in tiny outfits with her much younger boyfriend/handbag, pretending not to pose for the paparazzi. This woman will turn up to the opening of an envelope, flash her breasts, make-out with said BF, and stumble home - all just to get an ounce of attention. Shauna’s breasts (among other body parts) are currently starring in her leaked, obviously staged, sex tape. Hey, it worked for plenty of other untalented hoochie-bags.
8. Paris Hilton
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No one would call Paris Hilton a busty woman. The truth is that Ms. Hilton has relatively small breasts and uses every trick in the book to push them together and make them look larger. While Hilton may be lacking in the tah-tah department, her true deficiency is in the talent department.
This woman has managed to make a career out of doing absolutely nothing, which is incredible. She turned a leaked sex tape into a multi-million dollar a year career. Some could say that takes talent, but really its opportunism and the machine behind her deserves most of the credit. There’s no denying that this girl is savvy and while that may be a talent, her breasts still win out.
Paris is famously quoted as saying, “One of my heroes has always been Barbie. She may not do anything, but she always looks amazing doing it.” This sums her up perfectly, and I couldn’t have phrased it better myself.
7. Sophie Monk
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Sophie Monk is an Aussie actor and singer best known for dating one of the dudes from the band Good Charlotte. She is often photographed in skimpy workout clothes or at the beach wearing a bikini. This is hardly coincidental. Monk began her career in Australia as a Marilyn Monroe impersonator. She auditioned for a spot on the Australian version of Popstars and was selected to be a part of the girl group Bardot. When the band broke up, Monk moved to the U.S. and tried her hand at acting. She has appeared in several films, and is most often cast as the stereotyped ditzy blonde piece of eye-candy. This usually means she has to flash her breasts. Even with the allure of Ms. Monk's breasts, most of her films have gone straight to DVD.
6. Tila Tequila
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Tila Tequila is part of the generation of celebrities who are famous for being famous. Tila’s single biggest achievement in life is being the most popular person on the social networking site MySpace…and that was in 2006. This popularity led to the MTV reality dating show A Shot of Love with Tila Tequila...and the rest is history. We’ve been stuck with the quasi-bisexual ever since.
These days Tila tries desperately hard to keep in the spotlight. She obsessively tweets and constantly posts videos on her website where she shakes her booty and plays with her large, D-cup fake breasts. Her breasts are an amazing piece of surgical work, but kind of look ridiculous on her tiny, 4-11 frame. It makes her look like an inflatable porn star, which is fitting as this girl is a hot second away from diving into hardcore pornography. At least she may discover a talent.