NBA Star Now Leads the League in Mid-Game Bat Murders

November 2, 2009

During their October 31st showdown with the Sacramento Kings (an alleged NBA franchise that recently hosted “Bring Everybody You Know Night”), San Antonio Spurs forward Manu Ginobili did one of the most badass things an Argentinean with a receding hairline has ever attempted during a Pros vs. Joes-style NBA game.

At the beginning of the first quarter, a small bat entered the arena and began harassing players (typical bat move – those bastards just don’t respect the game),  making it very difficult for the Kings to concentrate on missing free throws and embarrassing what's left of their fan base . Arena managers, chubby ushers waving towels, and a high school kid from the Wetzel Pretzel cart all tried to capture the might beast, but with little success. Unless of course you count the comedic value of a 52-year-old towel boy tripping over his own feet while chasing a flying rodent around a basketball arena – in which case it was a smashing triumph.

It seemed as though fans were going to have to watch their beloved Spurs play their patented brand of mind-numbingly boring basketball with a bat lurking around the free throw line with no real purpose like Dirk Nowitzki on defense. That is of course, until Ginobili literally took matters into his own hands…