The Six Seatmates You Don't Want on an Airplane
Just ask anybody who's on a flight: people do all sorts of horrible things on airplanes. They look at porn, they blow their noses in the blankets, and leave their chewing tobacco cups in the seat pockets. In short, people suck when it comes to flying. But some people manage to make air travel even more aggravating and time-consuming than it already is just by showing up.
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By Dan Seitz
6. Captain Reek
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It's pretty hard, when you're traveling, to take a shower. Especially if you're going camping or heading straight to the beach after you land. What's the point? Just slap on some deodorant and go.
Well, some people just take that to an illogical extreme, illustrated by the guy who Jazz Air threw off a flight for his overpowering B.O. To give you an idea of just how bad Mr. Natural smelled, a passenger actually used the word "brutal" to explain it, and the airline said it was a matter of health and safety.
Nobody mentions whether they just blasted him with a hose on the tarmac, but it might not have been a bad idea.
5. Darius Chappille
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There are two things pop culture is obsessed with when it comes to airplanes: plane crashes and the mile high club. Whether it's the famed promiscuity of flight attendants or just doing it in a pressurized cabin, plane sex seems pretty popular. Granted, sex on a plane has never struck us as appealing. If we want to have sex in a cramped space with a toilet jabbing us in the back, we'll just do it in our apartments.
But nobody mentioned this to Darius Chappille, who piled on the bad decisions pretty fast. First, he whipped it out for his female seatmate to enjoy, which she didn't. Then, he punched her in the face. Then, he started stripping until he was buck naked, and it took most of the flight attendants and some of the passengers to restrain him.
Is this some weird fetish? We bet it's a weird fetish.
4. Bored Jiu-jitsu Fighter Flipping Random Handles
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Note: The photos in this article are being used for illustrative purposes only; any person depicted in the photos is a model.
There are plenty of people you just don't want to mess with. Professional jiu-jitsu fighters are generally among them. One of them, who shall remain nameless for reasons that'll soon be obvious, was bored on his flight and was wandering around the cabin. He saw the door, you know, to the outside, which was a few miles in the air, and decided to see what would happen if you flipped the handle to "open."
What happens is freaked out passengers kick the living crap out of you. The doors won't open while you're in the air, but nobody, including the dumbass who flipped the handle, actually knew that. And so, an alleged professional got a beating, probably courtesy of five overweight guys in first class.
Unsurprisingly, he didn't give his name to any reporters.