5. Dumb Girl Owns Herself with Voicemail
Think your girlfriend is a little nuts sometimes? Be thankful you're not JD. While traveling abroad in Europe, JD's girlfriend inexplicably forgot he was going to be gone for two whole weeks and wouldn't be able to return her messages while he was gone. Yeah, you can see where this one is heading. Hilarity ensued when he returned, only to find an inbox full of increasingly erratic emails and a cell phone overloaded with increasingly desperate pleas for attention.
As JD wisely notes at the end of the video, "when you go to Europe for two weeks, leave your f***ing phone on." You almost have to wonder if this viral video was commissioned by AT&T or Verizon.
4. Joaquin Phoenix on Letterman
Though flatly denied by the actor when it was first announced in January, the public was wisely skeptical of Joaquin Phoenix's intentions when he announced he was embarking on a career in hip-hop. After all, it's not often than an Academy Award-nominated performer gives up a lucrative career in film in favor of one in which he seemingly has no aptitude whatsoever.
So when the actor/rapper (or, let's face it, "performance artist") appeared on the Late Show with David Letterman to present himself to an intrigued nation this past February, it had all the makings of truly great television. And, thankfully for all involved, the ensuing trainwreck was everything we hoped it might be...and then some.
Whether or not this whole "career in rap" thing is a hoax or not, one thing's certain: Joaquin Phoenix is certifiably bats**t insane.
3. David After Dentist
Clocking in with nearly 40 million views on YouTube alone, the video of drugged-up seven-year-old David DeVore returning from a visit to the dentist was easily one of the funniest videos of 2009. Facing a new and strange world, David asked questions that philosophers (and stoned college freshman) have pondered for years, such as "Is this real life?" and "Is this going to be forever."
Food for thought, indeed. But more than anything else, this video proves one fact above all others: Giving drugs to children is hilarious.
2. Kanye West is a Tremendous Douche
It's long been known that Kanye West has a bit of a wild streak. From attacking former President Bush to flipping out on radio DJs to warning Grammy voters about why they need to vote for him, Kanye is never one to shy away from speaking his mind. This isn't even the first time he's taken the stage at an MTV award show to trash-talk the winners. Happy just to be nominated? Aw, hell no! Not for Kanye.
But when he stormed the stage after Taylor Swift's upset victory over Beyoncé at this year's VMAs, pretty much all hell broke loose. The crowd immediately turned on the self-anointed one, who in turn left the ceremony without performing as scheduled. The Twitterverse blew up with condemnations of the singer, and even President Barack Obama weighed in, calling Kanye a "jackass." Damn.
For better or for worse, within hours, you couldn't go a minute without someone making their own "I'mma let you finish" joke. There's even an entire website devoted to the meme. After a week or two, it got pretty old but we're guessing this fiasco is going to follow Kanye around, well into 2010 and beyond.
1. Play Him Off, Keyboard Cat!
Though it was actually recorded way back in 1984, the phenomenon of "Keyboard Cat" didn't really come to the Internet's attention until this year, when it stormed the world in its numerous permutations. Though first coming to the attention of many sometime around the time The Daily Show and Colbert Report featured him, this was only the beginning of Keyboard Cat and his penchant for punctuating all things FAIL with his inimitable keyboard stylings.
You can now find a Keyboard Cat video for pretty much every occasion. Want a Three Wolf Moon-inspired Keyboard Cat t-shirt? You got it. How about an 8-bit Keyboard Cat for the Marioheads? Served right up. Perhaps the only thing missing now is Keyboard Cat's inevitable foray into advertising. Oh wait, that's already happened too.
If only for the fact that the Keyboard Cat phenomenon is still going strong, we salute him as our top viral video star of 2009. Well, for that and the sweater he's wearing. You have to admit he looks pretty damn snazzy.
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