London Shows Everyone Their One-Eyed Monster

May 20, 2010

Everybody knows that Olympic mascots are supposed to be fun, furry creatures with adorable names. That is, except for the uplifting nation of England, who unveiled a pair of terrifying cyclops named after dreary British towns that are intended to spread joy and scare children during the 2012 Summer Games.

Wenlock and Mandeville (shown above) were unleashed upon the public earlier this week to the horror of frightened reporters and copyright lawyers at Pixar. (Monsters vs. Aliens, much?)

Delusional organizers - who will likely be fired before the Olympics begin - claim that the mascots will “be a big hit with kids and help inspire young people to get involved in Olympic sports.”

"We've talked to lots of children and they don't want cuddly toys," London 2012 organizing committee chairman Sebastian Coe said. "They want something they can interact with and something with a good story behind it."

Clearly these guys really understand both children and athletics.
"We want it to be fun," Coe said. "We want it to try to engage and reconnect young people to sport."

With this type of thinking from the country’s top sports officials, the fact that the English national soccer team hasn’t won a World Cup in 44 years becomes even more shocking.

Photo: Julian Finney/Getty Images Sport/Getty Images