Volunteer High School Bowling Coach Nails Student, Shames High School Bowling Coach Community

September 20, 2010

As the old saying goes, “if there’s one man you can trust your 15-year-old daughters to spend questionable amounts of after-school time with, it’s a middle-aged volunteer bowling coach who smells like stale nachos and Megan’s Law notices.” That is, of course, until one man took advantage of the sacred student-volunteer bowling coach trust.

Edward R. Cetwinski, who mysteriously showed up at a random Illinois high school to offer his bowling expertise, was arrested after admitting to having sexual relations with a high school underclassman late last year.

According to reports (which published his address in case readers wanted to seek vigilante justice);


Edward R. Cetwinski, 41, was arrested after he reportedly admitted to being involved with the girl during questioning by investigators Tuesday. Records indicate the victim is either 15 or 16 years old.

Police reports indicate Cetwinski has been a volunteer bowling coach at Lincoln-Way Central High School and met the girl through the school.

Cetwinski, of #### #### Drive in New Lenox, was arrested and booked into the county jail on one count of aggravated criminal sexual abuse.

(Seriously, nice touch putting his home address in the story. Perhaps next time the paper could include possible alarm code combinations or the time of day neighbors will be at work and unable to hear him scream?)

Cetwinski is unlikely to be invited back for the upcoming bowling season, but remains optimistic that a more pervert-accepting sport will welcome him into the fold.



Photo: Iconica/Getty Images