One Major League Baseball player is currently on the injured reserve after stubbing his toe. A second big leaguer will miss “at least” 15 days of play because of a back injury he suffered while holding back a violent sneeze. A third pro baseball star will sit out several games due to a neck injury he sustained while hanging his head in shame. (Admittedly, that last one was fake, but sadly, the first two are totally real.)
Here’s the official report on the toe injury from MLB.com:
Russell Branyan banged his left toe on a table around 5 a.m. PT on Thursday morning at the Mariners' hotel when he went to close the curtains. He'll be out two days minimum and will be day-to-day after that, manager Don Wakamatsu said.
Well, that makes sense. You don’t want to rush him back too early and risk losing the long term services of a guy who lacks the athletic ability to close the blinds.
Here’s the official report on the back injury from MLB.com:
Mat Latos will be placed on the 15-day disabled list on Friday with a strain to his left side. Latos said he suffered the injury attempting to hold back a sneeze on Friday in Colorado.”
Wait, was he successful in holding it back? I’d hate to see him go on the injured reserve on a botched sneeze.
Maybe it’s time to start re-evaluating baseball’s status as a “sport.” Maybe send it down to the minor leagues and call it “an activity” or “leisurely pursuit” for a while.
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