The Top 10 Weird Sex-Related Mishaps
Keeping it fresh and interesting in the bedroom is imperative for a healthy sex life. It is part of human nature to try new things, experiment, and get kinky. However things don't always pan out as planned and with all the sex happening across the globe something is bound to go terribly wrong. When mishaps happen in the bedroom, it can cause great embarrassment, a trip to the ER, or even worse.
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10. The Unreliable Penis Extension
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A hapless Russian man with a small penis made a last ditch effort to save his marriage which ended in disaster.
Grigory Toporov, a 47-year-old man, had feelings of inadequacy after his wife berated him for his small penis. His wife reportedly told him repeatedly that he did not measure up in the bedroom. He decided to take action and doctors fitted him with a special prosthetic penis extension.
The newly well-endowed Russian decided to take his new length for a trip between the sheets. He made the moves on his wife, resulting in a marathon session of wild sex. Then disaster struck. The penis extension broke off during intercourse, ruining the moment and her impending orgasm. This was the last straw for Grigory's unfulfilled wife who quickly demanded a divorce.
Grigory tried to save the marriage, saying, "I told her I would get a new one but she wasn't having any of it. She said she was fed up with my failures in bed and wants a divorce."
Toporov's wife really needs to learn the whole, "motion of the ocean" bit.
9. Woman Injured In Sex Toy Mishap
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Earlier this year a Maryland woman ended up in the hospital after a bloody mishap involving a homemade sex toy.
An unidentified couple was getting it on in the bedroom one Saturday night and decided to spice up their love making by using a sex toy. For reasons unknown, the sex toy, which we can assume was a dildo of some sort, wasn't doing the trick. So what's a guy to do when his lady needs an extra hand? Improvise. This chap decided to attach the sex toy to a Saber saw. Bad idea!
According to reports, the unidentified man placed a call to 911 saying "he had placed a sex toy over a saber saw blade, and then used the power tool on his partner, but the blade cut through the plastic and injured the woman." The man literally drilled and sawed his lover. The 27-year-old woman, who was bleeding profusely, was rushed to the hospital by a Maryland State Police helicopter.
Police conducted an investigation into the incident and decided not to press any charges, determining the injury was a "result of a consensual act between two parties and no crime was committed."
Next time the couple should just visit a sex shop.
8. The Case of the Broken Boner
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A British couple getting it on was interrupted when the man's penis broke mid-thrust.
Robert McClenahan, 38, was doing the deed with his wife when tragedy struck and his penis snapped in half. "We were having sex and he missed and broke his willy. We turned on the light and it was bent," recounted his 32-year-old wife Emma.
Wait a minute, how can a penis break? Penile fractures are caused by a "tear in the tunica albuginea, the thick fibrous coat surrounding the corpora cavernosum tissue that produces an erection." It's extremely rare and most often caused by a blunt trauma to an erect penis, which results in a loud cracking or snapping sound, immediate flaccidity, and intense pain.
In the late '90s a man sued his lover in a Massachusetts court for "breaking his penis" in the case known as John Doe vs. Mary Moe:
The plaintiff was lying on his back while the defendant was on top of him. The defendant's body was secured in this position by the interlocking of her legs and the plaintiff's legs. At some point, the defendant unilaterally decided to unlock her legs and place her feet on either side of the plaintiff's abdomen for the purpose of increasing her stimulation. When the defendant changed her position, she did not think about the possibility of injury to the plaintiff. Shortly after taking this new position, the defendant landed awkwardly on the plaintiff, thereby causing him to suffer a penile fracture.
In that case the court ruled the woman was not negligent as the two were engaged in consensual sex.
Unlike his American counterpart, Robert, who required surgery to fix his member, he now laughs about his broken boner.
7. Train Track Tragedy
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A South African couple was caught having sex on the wrong side of the track and literally paid for it with their lives.
Mduduzi Michael Bandezi, 28, and Sibongile Radebe, 25, met at local tavern in the Mpumalanga Province. One thing led to another and they ended up having sex on the railway tracks near the abandoned Kinross railway station. The station was no longer in regular use and the area was known as a haven for drug dealers and prostitutes. There is speculation that Sibongile was a prostitute.
According to reports, the freight train driver spotted the couple from a distance and repeatedly yelled at them to get off the tracks. However, they "continued with their business" apparently unaware of the oncoming freight train.
Mr. Bandezi died immediately at the scene, while Ms. Radebe was rushed to the hospital and died shortly after.
6. Couple Trapped in Sex Position
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A Russian couple experimenting with a sexual position from the Kama Sutra was rushed to hospital after they became stuck to each other.
Valentina Sokolov, age 51, had been given a copy of the classic sex book for her 50th birthday. She and husband Ivan, age 56, decided to get kinky and practice one of the positions. They aimed for the stars and chose the Indrani or "deck chair" position. This complicated position involves "the woman drawing up her knees so her feet are jammed under her partner's armpits."
Things were going great for the couple until Valentina started to climax, triggering a muscle spasm that trapped Ivan inside her. The couple tried unsuccessfully to separate themselves for two hours. Finally they called an ambulance.
A medic sent to help the couple found the situation wildly amusing. He said, "We couldn't help laughing looking at them. The two lovers, who were not young at all, were in such a complicated position!"
The couple was taken to the hospital where they were separated. Ivan was so embarrassed he immediately ran out of the hospital. Valentina required surgery and made a full recovery.